How to handle a child’s grief over the loss of a pet

Posted by justinelee in Blog, Uncategorized

How to handle a child’s grief over the loss of a pet

Helping your child grieve the loss of your family dog or cat is tough… but here, some tips in this blog.

The death of a beloved pet may be the first experience your child has with the loss of a loved one. In many cases, the passing away of a furry best friend can even be more devastating to a child than that of a human relative with which they had little contact. To help your child make sense of this tragedy and deal with their grief in a healthy way, handle the situation with great sympathy and understanding.

Your Child’s Grief
According to the Clinical Psychology Associates of North Central Florida, each child will react differently to the loss of a pet. Some will be heartbroken; while others may believe their pet is just living in a different place, such as underground.

Try not to judge your child’s reaction during the mourning period for your pet. For example, you may think there is something wrong with your child if he doesn’t show much emotion, but the concept of death may be too much for him to understand at this point. Be careful not to project your own grief onto your child to further confuse them during this difficult time.

On the other hand, if your child is very upset, allow him time to grieve. Don’t unintentionally belittle his feelings by saying, “It was only a dog” or “Be strong.” The pet may have been his best friend and seen him through difficult times that you were not even aware of.

Be prepared to answer questions from your child about the death of the pet. The Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB) recommends answering these questions honestly but without sharing too many details about death or dying that may confuse or frighten your child.

Buy a Book
If you are feeling at a loss for words and are worried that you may not be capable of handling this delicate subject on your own, you may want to consider purchasing a book to help you deal with the passing of your pet. Thankfully, there are a number of books available today that deal with this subject, including I’ll Always Love You, by Hans Wilhelm and Cat Heaven and Dog Heaven, both written by Cynthia Rylant, which are the top three best sellers on this subject on Amazon.

Have a Funeral
Go along with your child’s wishes if she wants to hold a funeral for your pet. The ceremony doesn’t have to be an elaborate one. A simple funeral with family members, pretty floral arrangements from FTD florists and guests of your child’s choosing is appropriate and may help your child find closure. Once the funeral is over, your child may want to place the floral arrangements over the grave as a pretty reminder of where your pet has been laid to rest.

Getting a New Pet
Once the initial sting of your pet’s death has passed, your child may react in one of two ways. Some children will want to get another pet immediately. Others may not be able to bear the thought of having to lose another pet in the future or might feel that it would dishonor the memory of your beloved animal to get another furry friend.

If your child is one that is begging to get a new pet immediately, the ASPCA recommends that you try to hold off for at least a month. If your child is worried about getting another animal, but you really want one, try to wait an appropriate amount of time, then have a heart-to-heart discussion with your child. You may want to consider adopting a pet from an animal shelter and explain to your child how you are giving the animal a loving home that it might not otherwise have.